I will start with the disclaimer that I love non-fiction. That said, I’ve read about half fiction, half non-fiction this year, but the majority of my top picks fall into the latter category. I usually prefer light fiction reads—either thrillers or romantic comedies (I do not gravitate towards historical or contemporary fiction). I’ll read almost any non-fiction book on a topic that interests me, and my favorite way to consume non-fiction is via audiobook read by the author.
Here are the titles that have made the greatest impression on me this year, in no particular order:
Written by a former Stanford dean in 2016, this book explores the downsides of “overparenting”—that is, not allowing children enough independence to chart their own courses and fail. I am not certain this book will stand the test of time—even just seven years later some parts felt dated—but I appreciated the corrective this provides to the very earnest parenting practiced by so many of my generational peers. I do worry about the short- and long-term effects of hovering over our children, and Julie Lythcott-Haims encouraged me to listen to that intuition and trust my gut, even when that is going against the general ethos of today’s parents.
This one was not on my radar until Virginia Sole-Smith did a podcast interview blitz right as her book released. I struggled with this one, but I am glad that I read it. I do not agree with everything she argues, but I did appreciate her exploration of our culture’s fat phobia (which she also calls “anti-fat bias”) and the scripts she offered, especially for parents: “It’s not nice to comment on people’s bodies with their permission. Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes. Isn’t that a cool thing?”
Sole-Smith advocates for taking non-judgment of food to such an extreme as to have no rules for children around eating. Does your kid want a stick of butter for dinner? Let them, she says, so they can learn to to trust their bodies. I do not agree with this premise. We limit our children and ourselves all the time because what we want in the short-term is not always good for the long-term (e.g., we do not want to go to sleep right now but we need to in order to function well tomorrow).
Still, this was a provocative read that really got me thinking.
Laura Tremaine names the ten friends every woman should have on her “life council.” This may sound gimmicky, but Tremaine approaches the subject with such vulnerability and heart that it did not read that way at all. I have followed Tremaine’s work over the years, so her second book was already on my radar. It surpassed my expectations. She weaves personal stories into friendship coaching and encourages readers to have more honest conversations with their friends. Both practical and soulful, this book will speak to woman across a wide spectrum of life stages and ages.
I downloaded this audiobook in the car on a road trip, desperate to fill the time. An algorithm suggested it to me, and I am so glad! Lauren Fleshman was a competitive long distance runner who reflects back on her running career and difficult childhood. I convinced my husband Dan to read it, and he was equally enthralled. Both of us ran long distance in high school, so I think that initially piqued our interest, and this book may not speak to those not familiar with that world. Fleshman is outspoken about the ways she thinks gendered expectations in sports need to change. She is a strong advocate for promoting healthy eating and body image in athletes, and she does not shy away from tracing disturbing trends in competitive long distance running. I learned a lot which will stick with me as I raise an almost teenage daughter.
Finally a fiction book makes the list! This was fun, light, and cute. Set during the pandemic, a music star and comedy writer fall in love writing emails to pass the time during lockdown. The characters are likable, and the premise is not too far-fetched. I had a few Covid-19 lockdown flashbacks as I read their email courtship, but I do not consider that a con. The book sets up the question: Can a beautiful famous person fall for someone who is average looking? But beneath that expected question is an exploration of self-doubt and self-confidence.
Honorable Mentions: These also deserve a shout out.
Another friendship book—apparently that’s a theme for me this year. Written by a millennial (and it reads very “millennial”), this book explores the importance of platonic relationships in our lives. Some of the writing sounded like an over-the-top self-help book, which I found off-putting, but I appreciated the deep dive into the significant role friendship plays in our lives and practical suggestions for nurturing those relationships.
Sarah Steward Holland and Beth Silvers host a podcast and have written two books (this is the second). I listened to this book, and they took turns reading, which seems fitting since they wrote it together. They explore how to stay in relationship with those people who hold very different views. When you arrive at a stalemate, now what? They are compassionate and careful with their language, but also firm and smart. I loved their chapter on institutions and particularly their point that we cannot approach institutions like publics schools and churches and local government as consumers; rather, we are contributors.
The only other fiction book to make the cut! Sally Hepworth consistently delivers. I like other Sally Hepworth novels more (The Good Sister is my favorite), but this one was still solid. She writes thrillers that are not too spooky. Her settings are beautiful, and her characters have depth. The villains typically are not one-dimensional but flawed and complex human beings. A woman falls off a cliff and dies—or was she pushed?
So tell me: what have you read and loved recently?