There is freedom in limits. Poets know this. Structure, routine, discipline fosters creativity. A haiku, the three-line poetic form that contains five syllables, then seven syllables, then five syllables, can spark imagination because instead of infinite possibilities there are finite possibilities…but still quite a few possibilities. Constraints reduce decision fatigue.
I have learned the power of implementing constraints over the years, and I embrace the practice more and more. Off the top of my head, I think about some limits I have instituted for myself:
A bedtime (and my lights automatically shut off at my designated bedtime, so there is a good bit of friction to turn them back on)
Social media limits set up on my iPhone (the apps close automatically after the designated minutes allocated for the day)
A template for my workout schedule (Monday: run, Tuesday: strength, Wednesday: bike, Thursday: run, Friday: strength, Saturday: bootcamp)
A meal planning matrix (Pasta Mondays, Sunday Leftovers)
Only painting sheer colors on my fingernails
Only buying and wearing clothes in colors in my seasonal palette
These are just a few. For my personality type, limits work well. I am inclined to uphold them (Gretchen Rubin even has a framework for personality types as it relates to habit formation and discipline, and I come out solidly as an upholder), and I spend less time making decisions about what to do next. I also have discovered the wisdom in setting a limit in advance. It is easier to stick to a bedtime alarm I have predetermined when thinking about my ideal daily routine than it is to decide to go to bed while I am in the middle of an engrossing show or book. (Not everyone would thrive with such structure. I am pretty sure that at least one of my children, for instance, is a rebel.)
Limits reduce the amount of time I spend second-guessing myself on the little things (Did I do enough? Should I do something more? Try something else?) and encourage me to make manageable small changes. I have used limits to my advantage when working on my 24 for 2024 list. I practice Spanish each day but complete no more than one level. I count it as sufficient if I complete one lesson. Consistency, for me, trumps sporadic grand achievements.
There is a deeper facet to this discussion of limits too which may be a post for another day, and that concerns relationships: boundaries. Recognizing where we end and another person begins is one of life’s most profound challenges, especially when it comes to people we love. As I enter a new parenting stage, I have been thinking about how to set boundaries. My children are and are still becoming their own people with their own preferences. Naming what I will and will not tolerate and outlining consequences is more effective than trying to control them or ruminating on how circumstances could be different.
Constraints usually have a negative connotation, but they are not all bad. Committing to spending five minutes to reach out to friends via text is better than not committing to anything at all. Setting a timer to worry and stopping when timer buzzes keeps us from spiraling too far. Revisiting the same spot for vacation every single year may close us off to new spots but it also builds and crystallizes our memories around a certain place.
Paradoxically, limits often take us farther than we could go without them.
I find setting limits really helpful. It makes decision-making easier and helps me stay focused. Embracing constraints has been a game-changer for me. 🌟Marvelous writing🌟