Surviving--even thriving?--in the summer

When routines disappear but intentions remain

Graduations have happened. Class parties are upon us. Awards ceremonies, field days, concerts, and final presentations are underway, which means that summer is almost here. I've written before about how I do not thrive in the summer, when routine and schedules go out the window—especially when kids are involved. Summer feels like a game of Tetris, plugging in various sleepaway, sports, and day camps to fill the ten-week span between academic calendar years.

Many of summer's pain points are predictable; they remain the same each year. I know that my family and I will never quite settle into a groove because wakeup times and drop-off times will shift based upon what camp we have signed up for that particular week. I know what Alabama heat feels like. I know summer feels lazy and restful for some but not usually for me.

Yet every year brings unique challenges. I am in that awkward phase of parenting with my 12-year-old where she has aged out of most kid camps but is too young for volunteer experiences and sports camps available to older teenagers. I have coursework all summer long, which will absorb much of my found time as work slows down a bit. My husband Dan and I happen to be out of town frequently, but not for vacation. Summer will be a different rhythm, but not a slow one.

I know it's worth asking, for me (and probably for you too): What do I want from this summer?

It's worth asking this question for every season, but there is something about summer in particular that invites setting intentions. Perhaps it's because summer is more nebulous and flexible than other seasons in terms of hard calendar commitments.

I can name what I love about summer and make a point to savor those things:

• There are no evening activities, which means we enjoy a more relaxed post-dinner routine with fewer time pressures.

• The longer days and extended sunlight brighten the house, which I love—I'm a big proponent of natural light. (Of course, letting all that sunshine in can also heat up the house quickly!)

• There's no homework for the kids. Without the daily stress of grades and assignments, our household feels lighter, especially during those intense after-school hours between 3 and 7 p.m.

• My work schedule becomes a bit more relaxed. While work is never truly slow, the pace shifts in June and July, allowing for more breathing room.

• I look forward to new book releases from favorite summer reading authors like Emily Henry and Abby Jimenez.

• Summer produce, especially peaches and tomatoes where I live, is delicious.

I can also name what I do not love about summer and choose acceptance, resignation, or brainstorm solutions. I tried this approach last year with limited success, so I wonder if it might be more helpful to lean into what I like rather than focusing on what I don't.

I have been intrigued by research suggesting it is far more beneficial for people to focus on building their strengths rather than trying to improve their weakest areas. Although this concept primarily addresses leadership development, I believe the same could apply more generally to our approach to life's pain points. Instead of giving so much attention and air time to our grievances, maybe we are better off focusing on what we find pleasurable. Maybe I don't need to "solve" those trickier parts of summer but give them less headspace, crowding them out with evening walks taken with juicy summer peaches in hand.

So this summer, I'm not making a checklist or a grand plan (I know—I'm shocked too!). I will just pay attention to what feels good and what feels easy.

Summer: Do you love it or not so much? How are you tackling summer this year?

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