I receive a lot of packages. I am not proud of it. Many (most?) days of the week, our family has something delivered to the house. Partly this is because we do not buy much at a store anymore other than fresh groceries. But I also realize just how easy and quick it is to make an online purchase with little deliberation or effort.
So for Lent this year, I decided to give up online shopping. (My husband Dan actually decided to join me too but I did not know this when setting the intention.) I had a few reasons I thought this would be a beneficial spiritual practice, and I also wanted to see what I would learn over this period. I still have about a week and a half left, but I have lived deeply enough into this to have drawn a few conclusions.
I laid some ground rules for myself: I was allowed to continue receiving our regular online subscriptions (we have household goods like cleaning products, medications, and some pantry items set to ship automatically each month), and I was allowed to place grocery orders online to be picked up or delivered. I could shop at a store when I wanted. I did not use Sundays as “cheat days” or “feast days” but I did place one online Amazon order for the kids’ Easter baskets. If an item I wanted at Target was out of stock, I resisted the urge to let them ship it to me for free and instead tried to make do with what was in the store.
First, why do I shop online so frequently?
Pickiness: I do not like to settle. I am a maximizer, not a satisficer, so if the grocery store does not carry the brand or flavor I want, I do not pick up the second best; I would always rather place an order online. I do not want just any peanut butter, I want that particular kind of peanut butter.
Laziness: Yes, along with many people, I would prefer to shop in my pajamas from my computer screen rather than get dressed, drive to the store, shop, check out, load the car, drive home, and unload.
Low store inventory: Often items I like are not available in store. I believe that stock inside stores has diminished significantly in the past several years because stores know how much people shop online. It is preferable to hold inventory at a warehouse rather than a storefront, but that means that the in-store shopping experience is now significantly inferior to shopping online. I can count on one hand how many articles of clothing I have purchased in a store since 2013.
Being influenced: I follow several influencers on social media accounts, and they make their living partly by regularly showing off new products. There are many things I have purchased that I never knew I needed simply because I saw someone else with the item and thought it would add a little something extra to my life.
Returns are easy: Stores have figured out how to make returning items quick and painless. When online shopping first became a thing, returns were always the worry. What if the item did not work out? Retailers have reduced the friction to make returns now by partnering with shipping companies and allowing you to print return labels from home.
Subscriptions: For items that we use over and over again (or that we need to remember to cycle through—like air filters), online subscriptions are amazing. I do not have to worry about running out of toilet paper; it shows up right to my door. I do not need to remember when my allergy medicine is running low; I calculate the number of capsules in each bottle and set up a subscription to run that many days apart.
It is hard to pay for shipping: Retailers know what they are doing. It hurts to pay for shipping, so when you have the option to receive “free” shipping by buying an annual membership, or by adding more items to the shopping cart to reach a minimum purchase threshold, you often do it. You buy more to “save” money or make the shipping worth it.
My motivation to stop online shopping had little to do with budget concerns. I imagine we have saved a bit of money over the course of this past fortyish days, but overspending was never our problem. I was more concerned with my environmental footprint (although I still am not certain that shopping in store always is environmentally superior to shopping online, especially when considering how some direct-to-consumer companies are taking active measures to be carbon neutral) and my consumer appetite. It is good to wait for things, not to have instant gratification all the time, and to be content with less. Furthermore, I did not love the indirect message Dan and I were sending to our kids by opening packages of shiny new things every week.
Although Lent has not ended yet, I am far enough into this experiment that I can reflect on how this pause has changed me. I will not swear off online shopping forever, but I also will not return to ordering at the level I was previously. I would like not to have so much cardboard to take out to the recycling, but I still feel strongly about supporting some of the companies that are online-only (like this one and this one). I live in a suburban area, so I do not have access to the same items some of my friends in cities do, or I must buy in bulk, which creates more packaging. That said, this is not an all-or-nothing equation. Here is what I do know:
I am ready for Lent to be over. Frankly, this was one of the harder disciplines I have tried. I have a cart full of somewhat obscure books in my Amazon account right now that are not available at the library. I want to start reading them, and I suppose I could go to my “local” bookstore—which is Barnes and Noble—and have them order the books for me, but I am waiting for Easter. While I have plenty of other titles to read, there are a few books that are timely for our current parenting phase, so I would prefer to get to them sooner than later.
Making a “to buy” list is a good practice for me. I will anticipate larger purchases when setting monthly goals, but I have started listing out the things I am not buying right now in my notes app. I realize it is more efficient not to stop what I am doing and place an order right then; orders can be batched. Waiting also means I deliberate. Do I need the item? I have time to take inventory: Are we actually out of said item?
I can gradually fill up an online cart. Amazon offers the option to choose a delivery day and compile separate orders to be delivered on the same day. Our family has used this option for a while, but I can do this with other retailers too. Sometimes I forget items (particularly groceries), so waiting to place the order can reduce not only what I buy but also how often I buy.
Not online shopping gives me more time in my day. I fall prey to online sales. Even if I do not end up purchasing anything and only “window shop,” I still spend leisure minutes scouting for deals, and those minutes I can use elsewhere. I have done less browsing this Lent because I know I will not buy anything, even if there is something to score for a great steal.
Cheap thrills are just that—cheap. I will get on my soap box here for a second: I hate children’s party favors. They almost always are plastic trinkets that provide about thirty seconds of fun and then end up in the garbage bin. I feel sick to my stomach about how much of an environmental toll that takes for so little benefit. Yet I realize that I, as an adult, do the same thing sometimes with a cheap purchase. It is fun to buy stuff. We can temporarily lift our mood by purchasing a small gadget or piece of clothing for less than the cost of a therapy session or a massage or a dinner out with a friend. Of course the joy is usually short-lived. Consumerism is not a good antidote to boredom or dissatisfaction with our lives, but we often use it as a coping tool.
Whew! If you made it this far, does any of this ring true for you? What is your experience with online shopping? Feel free to drop your thoughts in the comments. 😊